Partners of Transgender People

Over the coming days/weeks, I will be talking about the partners of those who are transgender and how it affects them.  Being a partner of a transgender person is a unique situation.  Many therapists don’t understand the issues such as raising children, dealing with dysphoria, and the partner’s own personal identity.

If they were together before transition, there is often a feeling of two different speeds of the transition.  Often the one transitioning has been thinking and obsessing about transitioning long before they come out to their partner.  Once they come out to the partner, the often want to just get started on the transition, leaving the non-transitioning partner trying to wrap their head around everything and wanting things to slow down.  Often this is when they come into my practice.  The transitioning partner is desperate to move forward because they have been processing this for a long time and are frustrated with their partner for not being where they are.  Meanwhile the non-transitioning partner is trying to slow down and understand what this means to them as a person and them as a couple and worries that things are going too fast.

With support and work on communication, often the relationship can become stronger and thrive, but it takes effort and not every relationship can withstand a transition.

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